The parent group therapist recommended a book. Since Audible has a free book a month, I thought, I will try it and if I like it, I will also buy a paper copy of it or a copy for my kindle so I have it. I have listened and I also have the paper copy of the book on order. Wow. It is a book that offers clear insight to this journey. A journey which I have come to realize that many more of us are on than I previously could have ever imagined. I am learning and I will continue to learn.
I started cleaning and sorting the old room and during this process, I have been listening to the book. The entire sorting process has magnified a heavy heart and listening to the words of this book well, has been very difficult. However, in this difficulty, a greater understanding and hope have emerged. Yes, hope. I just hope it is not too late.
The book is called The Journey of the Heroic Parent by Brad M. Reedy. I highly recommend it. If I could recommend only one parent book, this is the one. This is it. For anyone. Anyone struggling to understand, acknowledge or just realize (to survive?) difficult issues such as addiction, low self esteem, trauma, ptsd and high school bullying needs to read this book. It is not a book that will make us feel horrible about our parenting skills but it is a book that will assist us in making things better and how we can make better choices. It can show us that you know what? We do what we do for reasons and, we can do things in a different way that may lead to a better life.
Sorting though the room has taken more time and energy than I could have ever imagined. I ended up painting the old pine wainscotting (first I lightly sanded it, then put on Bullseye primer, and then two coats of cabinet paint from Springhill Home Hardware). I like the result. I really like it.
Here are some resources that are available. Many are taken from the Mental Health and Well being website. Something I have learned while marching on this journey is that I am not alone. There are resources! There are days I still think that I am and then luckily, I remind myself that I am not. If you are feeling alone, please know, you are not. There are resources out there. It took me a long time to find them and we are not there yet, but we are marching along, this time, with help.
The Journey of the Heroic Parent by Brad M. Reedy
ADDICTION – resources for family members/loved ones
Addiction has three qualities, it is chronic, it includes uncontrollable cravings and it is compulsive. The following is a good definition of addiction: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/addiction
Videos:
- There are 6 sections within this video. It is an excellent starting point to learn about addiction, and is produced by SAMHSA, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlPCEIKGaD0&list=PLiDp5Nr08qmeri0HwCOm4rYhuZYw4j9se
- Recovery needs to include: fun, exercise, socialization and hope. A TEDTalk by Dr. Jacki Hillios, titled “Transcending addiction and redefining recovery”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzpTWaXshfM
Support for family members/loved ones: We suggest that family members and loved ones of the person in recovery attend Al-Anon/Nar-Anon meetings. These free meetings in your community (or one nearby) are attended by people in the same situation as you. Once you find a group you are comfortable with, these meetings can be a source of great support and education.
The following links will help you find a family group meeting near you:
Concurrent Disorders
People struggling with addiction often have concurrent disorders such as depression, trauma and anxiety.
Depression: There are similarities between depression/addiction in the way it envelops the addicted person, and how people in recovery need a combination of tools and support to keep the beast of addiction on a short leash and to heel, just as people with depression do! The following short animated videos are from the World Health Organization.
- a) How the depressed person may experience depression
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc
- b) How the depressed persons family/friends can help
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VRRx7Mtep8
Trauma
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhkSJH1DOvs
Anxiety
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9r5TmwTM_A
Tedtalk Johann Hari: Everything you think you know about addictions is wrong:
Mental health and well being
Support for mental health and addictions is available for children, youth and adults. You can get help by phone, online or by virtual care. In-person help is available if a clinician determines it’s necessary.
If you have a pre-existing mental health condition or substance use disorder, it’s important to continue with your treatment as much as possible. Be aware of new or worsening symptoms and reach out for help and support.
811
If you need advice and information about mental health, call 811.
Crisis text line
Crisis Text Line is for adults of any age who need to talk during a difficult time. This service is free and is available 24/7. Special support is also available for frontline workers.
- Text NSSTRONG to 741741
- For frontline workers: text FRONTLINE to 741741
Good2Talk Nova Scotia
Good2Talk Nova Scotia provides support for all post-secondary students in this difficult time.
- Call toll-free: 1-833-292-3698
- Text GOOD2TALKNS to 686868
Grief and bereavement services
Grief and bereavement services are available to the families and friends of patients referred to palliative care.
HealthyMindsNS
HealthyMindsNS offers online mental health programs for university and NSCC students in Nova Scotia.
ICAN Anxiety Program
People 18 and over can get help for anxiety and depression through the ICAN Anxiety Program. The program includes online tools for tracking and managing your symptoms, and weekly phone calls with a coach. Learn more about the program on the Nova Scotia Health Authority website, and self-refer if you’re interested.
Kids Help Phone
Young people up to age 20 can contact the Kids Help Phone 24/7 to speak with a trained counsellor:
- Call toll-free: 1-800-668-6868
- Text NSSTRONG to 686868
Mental Health Mobile Crisis Line
If you’re experiencing a mental health or addictions crisis, or are concerned about someone who is, the Mental Health Mobile Crisis Line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
- Call: 902-429-8167
- Call toll-free: 1-888-429-8167 or 911
Mental health services
If you or someone you know needs help with mental health or addiction, health services are available.
MindWell-U
Nova Scotians can access MindWell-U, a free 30-day mindfulness challenge, an online tool which helps lower stress and improve wellbeing. It takes 5 minutes a day.
Self-care during grief
Advice for how to take care of yourself while you’re grieving.
Self-referral to mental health and addictions services
If you or a family member needs help with a mental health and addictions challenge, you can self-refer to a mental health or addictions clinic, service or program through the Nova Scotia Health Authority or IWK Health Centre. Call 1-855-922-1122 (toll free), Monday to Friday 8:30am to 4:30pm.
Therapy Assistance Online
Therapy Assistance Online (TAO) is a free and private online resource with interactive activities and videos for people facing mental health challenges. It includes activities on a variety of topics, and you can choose which ones you want to explore.
Youth outreach programs
Youth outreach programs across the province are helping young people stay connected online and on the phone, and providing other support like delivering food.
Rug Hooking Rants 