October is crazy warm

Well, I am just amazed at the high humidity and heat this October. We have all the wood in which is a huge relief and let me tell you the aches and pains seem to be lingering.

Tomatoes, calendulas and beets in my garden.

I had huge difficulties with cucumber beetles this year. They ate every single cucumber and squash plant so I replanted. Luckily I managed to harvest some zucchini and a handful of cucumber. I think I will grow these crops under remay cloth next year. I have never seen so many bugs before. We even saw masses of Japanese beetles and they killed off the raspberries and many of the grapevines. I went around dumping beetles in a soapy water bucket but I didn’t seem to help the damage.

I harvested the garlic in July. It is beautiful! I have just planted the new crop and covered it with leaves for winter. I also sowed winter rye in the garden as a green manure cover crop. I have not done this before so I am learning as I go. Great fun! Gardens give great joy.

winter rye

I left a strip of my calendula flowers in the garden. They are still blooming and the little bees are enjoying them. It is almost November!

So many tomatoes so lovely

This Wonderful Life

What makes a wonderful life. This is more of a statement than a question for me because I do not have to ponder this. I already know what has made a wonderful life for me.

My boys. From the moment I was expecting my life became filled with the most grand joy I could ever imagine. I cherish every milestone, every change, every journey. Not all is easy and not all is happy, but each event is their best event at the time and I am always proud Mom, thankful to be on this journey with them. I think about them every day, I worry about them still, even though they have grown to be young men, and they still fill me with joy. The memories, the today and the future. May they be filled with joy and contentment.

Always and forever, I will love you. Be happy xoxo.

Be happy my little ones, I pray you all will find your dreams and your moments of joy, well, that they are everlasting like my great love for you

Garden View

What a summer it has been. I probably say this every year but the high heat and humidity have been crazy!

The garden is hanging in and the beans are ready. The potatoes look good too and the tomatoes are just starting. The squash and cucumbers are still struggling to withstand the yellow striped beetles. Never have I ever seen so many and for the first time, we have Japanese beetles. They are big and scary and mow down plants like piranhas.

I try to get out in the garden quite often as I find it very peaceful and I can measure progress as I weed, mulch and eventually harvest. Small victories are now very important to me, and I have learned that happiness can be here and now.

First harvest of yellow and green string beans. We have been eating the Chioggia beets as they are better when small. I did not know that cooking them dulls their vibrancy. So I tried eating them raw in salad and they are so delicious!

Summer savoury will soon be ready for drying and then red beets for canning. Not sure if the corn will produce, it needs so much water and the rain barrel is dry. Fingers crossed we will get rain this week.

I just finished Poppy cat rug and have started colour planning the next. I have great joy making rugs and I am so thankful that my stroke didn’t take that. I am very lucky, that I know, because I am still here. I am yes, different, and outside I walk and communicate differently than before, but I am still in here, just different. Unfortunately, figuring out new things or old things that my brain thinks are new can be scary and so darn hard. Like adding a picture. I don’t remember how and I go round and round searching and I can’t seem to grasp it. It feels like I am trying to reach something on the top shelf and I just can’t seem to grab it. It stinks.

I will ask my kids. They will know.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1055066456/finished-primitive-hand-hooked-rug?ref=listing_published_alert

Best Brownies Comfort Treat

One of my favourite go to comfort food is home made brownies. This is my favourite recipe. It is no fail and the brownies are extra fudgy and comforting.
I apologize for the crappy formatting in my posts. WordPress has changed everything and I cannot find anything now. Don’t know how to centre things, or change the font etc. Or this could be me relearning how to do stuff. Since my stroke happened on the right side, my organization skills are scattered to say the least.

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This time I added peanut butter chips. I don’t like frosting on my brownies but there is no reason not to add some if you like it. I like the little jadeite fire king plate pictured. I thought I would start collecting it about 10 years ago when I found the little saucer at a yard sale but I can’t find it any more. I also haven’t really been anywhere to look for it in the past year either. I also forgot about it until today.

The Recipe

*grease a 9×13 inch pan and line with parchment paper

*oven temp is 350 F and bake time is 40 minutes (non convection propane oven)

1 cup butter or margarine

2 cups white sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup chocolate hazelnut spread (I use Costco brand)

3 eggs

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 1/3 cup flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

In a medium saucepan melt the butter/margarine on low heat while stirring. This melts the sugar too, giving the cooked brownies a glossy top. Do not simmer or boil this mixture, rather just melt the mixture. Usually 3 minutes is all it takes. Add the hazelnut spread and mix well. Let cool about 15 minutes before adding the eggs or you will have scrambled eggs. Add the eggs and vanilla. Beat well until well combined. Sift the dry ingredients over the mixture and fold in until well combined but do not beat. Scrape into a greased and parchment paper lined 9×13 inch pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes until toothpick almost comes out clean when stuck in the middle. There should be moist crumbs on the toothpick. Some people like really gooey brownies and if you do, start checking after 35 minutes or so.

add ins: 1 package of peanut butter chips, 1 cup chopped nuts, milk chocolate chips, chopped cherries

I actually had some roasted walnuts I was going to add but I forgot them.

I am also roasting a small turkey for Sunday dinner. I adore turkey dinner.

Maybe I can get a rug in the frame tomorrow as we can have leftovers for a few days.

fricot, turkey pot pie, hot sandwiches and t-clubs.

My grandmother says that it was always a matter of organizing when my great grandmother had a hooked mat on the go. She said that my great grandfather would set the clock on the edge of her hooking frame. She would usually get so in tune with hooking that the clock disappeared.

It is so easy to lose oneself in the process. I know I do and for that I am thankful.

The past lives on and the best ways remain.

The Beauty of Cold and Snow is Not White

I am always in awe of the startling beauty of cold. The ice and the snow. The tangled mass of branches magnified and encapsulated in a crystal shrine of ice takes my breath away.

My late father had a way of looking at the beauty in landscape through the lens of his painterly brain. A tree was not just brown and green. It could be gray and putty mixed in with charcoals and textures giving off different shades in different light. It is the same thing when I look at snow. I think of him as I see violet and indigo and not just stark white in the snow.

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  tangled brain

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Snow is not just white

When I first hooked snow, I used cream or stark white blankets. Later, as I found different wools and dyes, I started to experiment with overlaying shadows and colours.

One of my favourite ways to colour wool for snow is to take cream and white pieces of wool and to layer them with different coloured wools.

Step one is to soak the wool in warm water with a squirt of dish soap. Squeeze the wool to saturate it. I do this about an hour or so before I start to colour the wool. Longer is better. If you do not soak your wool before colouring you may find that the colours do not penetrate the center core of the fibre and you are left with white core (voids of colour in the core).

Next, cut pieces of wool that you want to use for your layers. I use what I have on hand, so piece size can vary, depending on how much wool I have. Start small in case you do not like the results. Remember, any wool colouring that doesn’t turn out as you like can always be overdyed later! No wool colouring is a lost cause 🙂 This project is also a great way to use up pieces of left over wool.

An example of layers would be dark blue, cream, cream, violet, cream and maybe lighter blue and then dark violet. Layer all of the wools then roll them up like a jelly roll. Tie them loosely with some yarn. Place in your pot of simmering water and sprinkle on 1/4 cup of laundry detergent (the powdered kind) and 1 Tablespoon of baking soda. If you do not have powdered laundry detergent you can try just the soda. The wool should be submerged with water in the dye pot. As the wool starts to heat (do not boil though) you should see the dyes start to leach out. Then, to set the colour, you will add 1 tablespoon of coarse salt or 1 tablespoon of vinegar. Salt will mute colour and vinegar with brighten. So I have been told but I have not really noticed any difference 🙂

A Rug based on a painting

One of my earliest rugs, Deer and Winter Apples, the sky and snow are from a cream blanket. The sky was layered with blues and dark grays to colour.

That’s all for now. Time to give my brain a little rest. This is something that I really struggle with. Fatigue. Crushing fatigue that I can’t just ignore or try harder. When the brain is done, it’s done. This stroke still sneaks up on me in that I get going really well and think I’m the same as I was before. But then the fatigue sets in and I realize that I’m not the same after all. I need to be patient and kind to myself. And I will.

Back to Work

I had to go back to work.  Summer is still strong but not in a good way.  The severity of the drought is affecting gardens and wells.  I have both and I have been praying for rain for a month.

I stewed up the ripe tomatoes and happily made up 9 jars.  There’s nothing like a jar of this in winter time in spaghetti sauce.  Oh yummy. 

The cucumbers have shriveled up so I don’t think I will be making any pickles this year.  I’m waiting for squash to start to ripen and my beans are in flower so maybe I will have some to put up.  Maybe not if the rain doesn’t come forth.

I love my garden very much.  I just wish I could give her water to thrive.

Heat Warnings

I do not remember ever having so many days with heat warnings and high humidex readings.   Day after day. Night after night.  Intense heat.    Many love this heat but I do not.

The garden is coming along although I am not weeding as much as I should be.

We had some beautiful beets and I was so surprised how large they were already!

I found an ebook on macrame at the online library so I decided to give it a try.  I haven’t done macrame in decades so I really had to follow the instructions.  It is a great pass time but the garden jute twine I had on hand is a bit rough on the hands.  I will order some softer rope when I find a good source.

Halifax online libraries is a great resource and I am truly thankful for this service.  I have found so many wonderful reads.

I finished a hooked rug chairpad recently.  It was fun to do and the digital pattern is available for sale on my Etsy site.

Bluebird rug hooking chair pad pattern

Painted Buffet

I am trying to add an entry on my phone because my computer is down.  I am not having much luck as I cannot see anything when I am typing because the phone keyboard takes up all of the space.

I recently refinished my old buffet. Harlow and I sanded the top.  I then applied stain which didn’t turn out.  It didn’t sink into the wood.  It merely dried on top and made a yucky mess. So I let it dry, sanded it off and used a prestain, then the stain. This time it absorbed.  The buffet top is the hardest maple I have ever seen.  Here it is before with the top sanded.

I then added 5 coats of clearcoat to the top.  The next step was painting.  I used the leftover cabinet paint, two coats.  Once dry, I cut out wallpops wallpaper and applied.  They are peel and stick so they go on easily.  I had purchased two rolls to use on my stair risers but decided against it.  They would be pretty but they won’t hold up to the foot traffic.  Here is the buffet  :).

Oh!  I added these sweet glass knobs I bought from Lee Valley.  I love them 😍.  My goal is to have a white kitchen with green or turquoise accents.  Not this year but once I am working again I can start planning again.  For now it’s been very relaxing just fixing up little things.

In my efforts to make things cheery and happy, I added wallpops to the two downstairs spare rooms.  The rooms are now clean, painted and decluttered, stage 3.  I have four stages of decluttering.

Stage 1: Deep cleaning. Everything out of the room.

Stage 2: Sorting.

Stage 3: Deciding keep, donate, trash.

Stage 4: I let some time pass and go through the “keep” stuff and get rid of most of it.

This spare room will be the Rose Room. I have the roses on one accent wall.

This spare room will be the Sea Glass room.  I have some jars of sea glass the boys and I gathered over the years and some accents of turquoise that will look pretty.   The walls of both rooms look white but they are both “Etheral” paint I got from Barry a few years ago.

Well that’s enough micro typing on my phone.  I hope this post is viewable 🙂

Have a blessed day!

🌷 💐 🌻 🌼 🦋

 

The Journey of the Heroic Parent by Brad M. Reedy

The parent group therapist recommended a book.  Since Audible has a free book a month, I thought, I will try it and if I like it, I will also buy a paper copy of it or a copy for my kindle so I have it.  I have listened and I also have the paper copy of the book on order.  Wow.  It is a book that offers clear insight to this journey.  A journey which I have come to realize that many more of us are on than I previously could have ever imagined.  I am learning and I will continue to learn.

I started cleaning and sorting the old room and during this process, I have been listening to the book.  The entire sorting process has magnified a heavy heart and listening to the words of this book well, has been very difficult.  However, in this difficulty, a greater understanding and hope have emerged.  Yes, hope.  I just hope it is not too late.

The book is called The Journey of the Heroic Parent by Brad M. Reedy. I highly recommend it.  If I could recommend only one parent book, this is the one.  This is it.  For anyone.  Anyone struggling to understand, acknowledge or just realize (to survive?) difficult issues such as addiction, low self esteem, trauma, ptsd and high school bullying needs to read this book.  It is not a book that will make us feel horrible about our parenting skills but it is a book that will assist us in making things better and how we can make better choices.  It can show us that you know what? We do what we do for reasons and, we can do things in a different way that may lead to a better life.

Sorting though the room has taken more time and energy than I could have ever imagined.  I ended up painting the old pine wainscotting (first I lightly sanded it, then put on Bullseye primer, and then two coats of cabinet paint from Springhill Home Hardware).  I like the result.  I really like it.

 

Here are some resources that are available.  Many are taken from the Mental Health and Well being website.   Something I have learned while marching on this journey is that I am not alone.  There are resources!  There are days I still think that I am and then luckily, I remind myself  that I am not.    If you are feeling alone, please know, you are not.  There are resources out there.  It took me a long time to find them and we are not there yet, but we are marching along, this time, with help.

The Journey of the Heroic Parent by Brad M. Reedy

ADDICTION – resources for family members/loved ones

Addiction has three qualities, it is chronic, it includes uncontrollable cravings and it is compulsive.  The following is a good definition of addiction: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/addiction

Videos:

1. There are 6 sections within this video. It is an excellent starting point to learn about addiction, and is produced by SAMHSA, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlPCEIKGaD0&list=PLiDp5Nr08qmeri0HwCOm4rYhuZYw4j9se

2. Recovery needs to include:  fun, exercise, socialization and hope. A TEDTalk by Dr. Jacki Hillios, titled “Transcending addiction and redefining recovery”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzpTWaXshfM

Support for family members/loved ones:  We suggest that family members and loved ones of the person in recovery attend Al-Anon/Nar-Anon meetings.  These free meetings in your community (or one nearby) are attended by people in the same situation as you.  Once you find a group you are comfortable with, these meetings can be a source of great support and education.

The following links will help you find a family group meeting near you:

https://al-anon.org

https://nar-anon.org

Concurrent Disorders

People struggling with addiction often have concurrent disorders such as depression, trauma and anxiety.

Depression:  There are similarities between depression/addiction in the way it envelops the addicted person, and how people in recovery need a combination of tools and support to keep the beast of addiction on a short leash and to heel, just as people with depression do!  The following short animated videos are from the World Health Organization.

 

1. a) How the depressed person may experience depression

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc

 

1. b) How the depressed persons family/friends can help

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VRRx7Mtep8

 

Trauma

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhkSJH1DOvs

 

Anxiety

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9r5TmwTM_A

 

Tedtalk Johann Hari: Everything you think you know about addictions is wrong:

 

Mental health and well being

Support for mental health and addictions is available for children, youth and adults. You can get help by phone, online or by virtual care. In-person help is available if a clinician determines it’s necessary.

If you have a pre-existing mental health condition or substance use disorder, it’s important to continue with your treatment as much as possible. Be aware of new or worsening symptoms and reach out for help and support.

811

If you need advice and information about mental health, call 811.

Crisis text line

Crisis Text Line is for adults of any age who need to talk during a difficult time. This service is free and is available 24/7. Special support is also available for frontline workers.

• Text NSSTRONG to 741741
• For frontline workers: text FRONTLINE to 741741

Good2Talk Nova Scotia

Good2Talk Nova Scotia provides support for all post-secondary students in this difficult time.

• Call toll-free: 1-833-292-3698
• Text GOOD2TALKNS to 686868

Grief and bereavement services

Grief and bereavement services are available to the families and friends of patients referred to palliative care.

HealthyMindsNS

HealthyMindsNS offers online mental health programs for university and NSCC students in Nova Scotia.

ICAN Anxiety Program

People 18 and over can get help for anxiety and depression through the ICAN Anxiety Program. The program includes online tools for tracking and managing your symptoms, and weekly phone calls with a coach. Learn more about the program on the Nova Scotia Health Authority website, and self-refer if you’re interested.

Kids Help Phone

Young people up to age 20 can contact the Kids Help Phone 24/7 to speak with a trained counsellor:

• Call toll-free: 1-800-668-6868
• Text NSSTRONG to 686868

Mental Health Mobile Crisis Line

If you’re experiencing a mental health or addictions crisis, or are concerned about someone who is, the Mental Health Mobile Crisis Line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• Call: 902-429-8167
• Call toll-free: 1-888-429-8167 or 911

Mental health services

If you or someone you know needs help with mental health or addiction, health services are available.

MindWell-U

Nova Scotians can access MindWell-U, a free 30-day mindfulness challenge, an online tool which helps lower stress and improve wellbeing. It takes 5 minutes a day.

Self-care during grief

Advice for how to take care of yourself while you’re grieving.

Self-referral to mental health and addictions services

If you or a family member needs help with a mental health and addictions challenge, you can self-refer to a mental health or addictions clinic, service or program through the Nova Scotia Health Authority or IWK Health Centre. Call 1-855-922-1122 (toll free), Monday to Friday 8:30am to 4:30pm.

Therapy Assistance Online

Therapy Assistance Online (TAO) is a free and private online resource with interactive activities and videos for people facing mental health challenges. It includes activities on a variety of topics, and you can choose which ones you want to explore.

Youth outreach programs

Youth outreach programs across the province are helping young people stay connected online and on the phone, and providing other support like delivering food.

Title

I finished a couple of rugs this winter and finally have started a new one.  It took some time to find that idea of a new one but I finally did.  It’s going to be the largest one to date, more of a runner, so it is very long and narrowish.  I’m having fun with the colour planning and need to colour some more wool for the background.  I have a vintage blanket in a pretty light cocoa colour that I just washed and dried.  I think it will go nicely in the background.

The beautiful house that we drove by after picking up my son from the centre.  I just knew it was going to be in a rug.  It is an icon of hope and his strength.  I know he has it, I just hope he knows too.